I Don’t Understand How This is Possible
I don’t recognize my city. It’s like films from WWII.
My name is Oksana. I am from Ukraine.
The city I come from is close to the Russian border, about 30 or 40 kilometers away. When the war started, Russian tanks went across our city. There were a lot of helicopters and tanks.
After I saw the tanks, I went to my job. And my neighbor told me,
“Today’s the war.” And no one understood why. We didn’t believe it. I thought, why?
My car was in the shop. It was not working very well. I thought, “What will we do?” I went to the mechanic and he told me maybe my car would get us to the border. I asked him, “Can I take my car now? We need to get away from the city.” He said, “Yes.”
So I took my car. I quickly got my family and got away from the city. When we got to the border city we saw soldiers but later we understood they were Russian soldiers. They didn’t have flags and markers to show where they were from. Our soldiers have flags, markers, and a lot of signs to show who they are. We were scared. My car broke down close to Cherkasy. I called my friend in Cherkasy. She came and got us and we spent the night in her home. We slept well and got a shower in the morning. It was the third day after the start of the war. My friend took us to the train and we went to Kiev. In Kiev we heard a lot of sirens and we were really scared. When we got on the train, a worker on the train told us we needed to get down on the floor and turn off the light because a Russian plane flew over. We were scared the plane could bomb the train.
We calmed the children by saying the plane and the train were playing hide-and-seek.
When we got to Kiev, there were millions of people. I thought, “This was only in the movies, it’s not real.” When we got on a train from Kiev to leave to go to the European border, we didn’t have a seat. We were looking for a place for our children. They sat on our backs and later they slept on the floor. There were a lot of people. It was very crowded. We didn’t have food or water.
We were on the train for one night and day. Sometimes the train stopped. It was dangerous. Sometimes the train stopped for one hour, two hours, and then would start again.
My memories; it’s difficult. I thought if we left we could go somewhere safe. I thought we could get help and take the bus, or take a taxi to the European border. But I saw, again, millions of people.
I felt very tired. The taxi to the border was very expensive. There were a lot of people but very few cars. Everybody needed a car.
We saw some volunteers who asked us if we needed help. The volunteers took us to their home and gave us food and a shower. We slept one night in this home, and got some rest. And I had time to think: We will go to the European border. And I called friends and different people and a neighbor of this volunteer’s family got us a car and we went to Poland. When we got to the Polish border, there were a lot of buses that took women and children away from the border and further into Poland. When we got off the bus, volunteers in Poland gave us blankets and hot soup and sandwiches. We cried. After that, Polish volunteers took us to a home. We had a room. We could sleep and we had food. And we started to understand what happened. This time was terrible.
At this time, my husband was in the Czech Republic. He was working. So he was safe. He met us in Poland. He got us visas, and we traveled back to the Czech Republic with him. And then, when America opened the program Unite for Ukraine, we came to America, to Utah.
I had one friend in Utah, one friend. In all of America, one friend: Marina. She completed documents for me. After she completed the documents I came here. When I got here, I thought, “I need my friends and my family.” The first friends I had in America were Lifting Hands International (LHI). I didn’t understand English, and America is a different planet. Different roles, different food, different language, different religion, and different people but the first people who I met was LHI. They were very kind and friendly and open-hearted. And I wanted to help them help my country. We would come in and help with Ukrainian aid shipments to send back to our people. We would translate the labels of what was inside the boxes. And then we would write notes like, “We haven’t forgotten you.”
I also had my cat, Batosha, with me. I had a bag for him, but it’s heavy. The Polish soldiers at the border said to me, “You need to take Batosha out of the bag”, because they needed to look inside the bag. I would take him out of the bag and everybody would say, “Oh!” He was a star!
We had some neighbors who didn’t get out. We left when we saw the soldiers, and later, my friends called me and said they also wanted to get out. But they can’t. By that time, the Russian soldiers had occupied the whole city. People couldn’t go in or out. For us to get out was a miracle.
When we came here, I didn’t believe we would stay. I thought maybe it would last one year. It’s been three years now. We don’t understand this.
My one dream is victory for Ukraine. Russia has killed my friends. Russia has killed so many people. Bombs in Kharkiv. Fourteen big apartment buildings. I don’t have any words for this.
I don’t understand how this is possible. I don’t recognize my city. It’s different. Like in films about the Second World War. They destroy cities with bombs until there is not a single intact building left in the city.
When this war is over, we need to go together to Ukraine. I will show you my country. My beautiful, beautiful country.
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